Roommates!

Yep, here we are: me, Kelsey, Andy, and Rene.
YAY for my wonderful roommates!

Thanksgiving!!!

YAY!! for a break and sleep and food and friends and Kansas! Yes, Kansas really is a great place to go for the holiday! Ten LeTU students, ten LeTU alumni, about twelve extended family, and the two most brave parents I've ever met, Mama and Papa Hawthorne. One of the couples from the extended family are back from several years in China with their four-month old daughter. All but one of the LeTU people stayed all weekend at the Hawthorne's home. We have wonderful food, hilarious conversations, splendid sleep, fabulous cold weather, and Christian encouragement. I get to wash dishes, go for early morning walks, stand around the bond fire, laugh hardily, and watch engineers work puzzles of various sorts. This year is very close to being as fantastic as last year; of course the weekend isn't over yet, so it still has potential. Last year was the first time I didn't celebrate Thanksgiving with my birth family. I now have a LeTU family with which to celebrate and be home with away from home. Most of my officially adopted brothers are here and my favorite two adopted sisters, not to mention that Mama and Papa Hawthorne have adopted me. I even got to speak to some of my birth family on Thanksgiving! YAY!
So, Sunday is my birthday, Monday is Beaker's, and next Saturday is Rene's, I can't help wondering whether a surprise lies in store for us ........but if I knew it wouldn't be a surprise anymore. ^_^

It's November!

The weather in Texas has finally decided to recognize the month; outside this morning was truly November! While going to breakfast this morning, the chilly air actually nipped my nose and ears just a little. The ground had frost on it!! I can't help thinking back to a few years ago when it snowed on my brother Philip's birthday, November 19. Normally, NC isn't quite that wintery until later, but I rather enjoyed the surprise. ^_^

Oh! I can't wait until next Wednesday afternoon! My exegesis paper is due that morning and we leave for a splendid weekend in Kansas right after my Greek class. YAY!!!

Stresses

Here is an illustration of the way my life seems to be right now. (diagram example of stress in big bending deformation) And this is how the story of my life seems to be written best about now:

basically what I'm saying is: Welcome to my life at LeTourneau University! ^_^

Fall Break

Just one of those weekends I can't help but praise God all day long. Here is one of several songs I have had skipping through my head the past few days.

The splendor of a King,
Clothed in majesty
Let all the earth rejoice,
All the earth rejoice
He wraps himself in light,
And darkness tries to hide
And trembles at his voice,
And trembles at his voice

How great is our God,
sing with me
How great is our God,
and all will see
How great, How great
Is our God

Age to age he stands
And time is in His Hands
Beginning and the End,
Beginning and the End
The Godhead, Three in one
Father, Spirit, Son
The Lion and the Lamb,
The Lion and the Lamb

How great is our God,
sing with me
How great is our God,
all will see
How great, How great
Is our God

Name above all names
You are Worthy of all praise
and My heart will sing how great
Is our God

by Chris Tomlin

Beautiful Weather

Fall has finally come to east Texas! The cool, clear mornings melting away to balmy afternoons with light breezes, all fading into gorgeous and peaceful sunsets. As the humidity lessens, the stars shine bright and crisp against the vast darkness above the swaying pine trees. Birds chirp throughout the day cheering the spirit, while the calmness of their rest soothes the mind. Perched on the widow sill, half in and half out, I am drawn to distant thoughts by the beauty of the day God has made. Reluctantly, I slip back onto the floor in an attempt to finish my assignment, just as I do my roommate wonders over to gaze out the window. Why is God's beauty in nature so distracting? I can't help wishing to be in the southern Appalachians during the month of October, with the changing colors creeping up the mountains and the geese flying overhead, honking their way south. But I think God called me to college in east Texas so I would have less excuse to forget homework; if I were in the southern Appalachians, I would have an extremely hard time staying inside and focusing on work. So in the end, the beauty I am beginning to see around me here is a blessing and even more so because it is minimal. But who needs this world when God is so beautiful!?!

One Thing...

One thing I have asked from the Lord, that I shall seek:
That I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,
To behold the beauty of the Lord
And to meditate in His temple.
Psalm 27:4 (NASB)

Spiritual Warfare

For the past week and half or so, I've been struggling internally more than usual. Unmistakably, I have been fighting a battle against the enemy of mankind. Trouble focusing on God. Difficulty concentrating on school work. Restless hours of sleep nearly every night. Impatience flaring up over the silliest things. Feeling a cage closing around me. Dragging through each day so exhausted and strained spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically. Smothering feelings of incompetence, inadequacy, isolation, and insecurity were pushing me into a state I am far to familiar with: depression.
Praise God for He is always with me!!! I had opportunities to speak to several men and women of God this week. God place each of these six brothers and sister in Christ in my path just when I needed most. In my sinking, I continued questioning who I was as a daughter, sister, roommate, friend, student, and Christian. The men and women I spoke with, each one encouraged me to turn my questions and doubts into a confident and thankful knowledge, both in my mind and heart, of who God has made me to be regardless of my inabilities to be perfect.
God is in control! I can rest and be free in the knowledge He has everything worked out no matter how I fail. Jesus is the lover of my soul! I can love others because He fills me. My Father will never forsake or disappoint me! I cannot fear the terrors of this world when I remember I am forever in His arms. Jesus is holding me close! My greatest desire is to be so full and over flowing of Jesus that everyone I come in contact with do not see me at all, but only Him. I want to be exactly who God has made me to be. Whatever that means for my life, wherever it takes me, however I live, move, and have my being, all I want is Jesus!
The hard part, of course, is how do I make my desire go beyond words?
Please, anyone who reads this and firmly believes God works miracles, pray! Pray God will work a miracle in my life to make me an overflowing vessel of my Lord Savior who is the Love of my life to everyone around me.

Writing Papers = Torture

If you don't know me well, you may be surprised to learn how much I dislike writing papers. Did you know I can never say anything in a paper even half as well as the writings from historians, scientists, theologians, and other professionals and experts? I must research and read texts from many individuals or groups who know far more than I do about any topic, then, for some ridiculous reason, I am evaluated/graded on how well I summarize the ideas, thoughts, and conclusions of these people. If learning to write is just learning a formula of how to "express ideas" of someone else, why are we told to put things in our own words? If I really put in a paper what I thought and understood about a particular topic/idea in my own style or format of reasoning, well, it would probably sound a bunch like my blog. Isn't that ironic? I enjoy reading and taking time to understand new concepts, but WHY must the grueling task of restating everything in a specific, preordained format dominate our search for knowledge and wisdom? Why does "learning" have to take up so much time, when all I want is to learn? I was rather sad last night; sitting in the library, reading passages from The Works of Philo, I realized I very just wanted to read the chapter for what it had to say, not to dissect it down into tiny giblets to support someone else's idea I must write in a paper. here is that question again that keeps coming up...Why must learning in life be this way?

This Past Week

So, guess what!?! Okay, of course you don't know, that's why I'm going to tell you. This past week was Spiritual Emphasis Week, which basically means we have a special speaker come and lead two chapels everyday and this morning we had Longview Blitz (very similar to Mission Morganton with just LeTU people working). Guess who our special speaker was!!?!?! ^_^ None other than Micheal Card! Yes, he came, sang, lead worship, and delivered messages (like sermons) Wednesday through Friday. I got to go to Dr. Mayes' class one day and sit in, because Micheal Card was the guest speaker and all the Biblical Studies and Christian Ministry majors were invited; it was very thought-provoking, encouraging, and enlightening. I officially like Micheal Card even more now. ^_^
Longview Blitz went really well too. We worked from 8:30 til 1:00 at Outreach Restoration Prison Ministry for Women, scraping, painting, picking up trash, cleaning, sorting clothes, weed-eating, and moving furniture around at an old motel that is being converted into a place for homeless women, especially those just out of jail, to stay. We all worked hard, sweated hard, and, everyone I talked to, came back glad to have done it. The seventeen girls (including me) who went from our floor, along with the 25 or so guys from 41 certainly got a bunch done. I'm so glad God has blessed me with the ability to work and help others! I'm also very glad God has blessed me with so many encouraging brothers and sisters in Christ!