God is so good!!!....and i am not

As many of you know, I believe God, my wonderful, amazing, beautiful Father, is calling me to go as a witness for His name to foreign lands. Why He chose to call me, in all my inadequacies and innumerable failures, I truly haven't even a minute clue. However, I am confident in His distinct calling and His marvelous, mysterious ways. Often pondering questions, shame of my doubts and fears overwhelms me, yet daily, I rediscover the incomprehensible love of my Lord Jesus. Patiently, He lets me struggle and just when I'm ready to completely give up hope, He comes to whisper in my ear: Laura, I am always here, in control, taking care of you. Very rarely does God give me an answer, let alone a clear answer, to any of my questions. The reminder of His power, presence, and unfathomable love for such a wretch as I is enough. Do not suppose this assurance keeps me from meditations filled with inquiry; on the contrary, sleep capturing me in the mist of desperately seeking insight comes as no stranger to me. Once more, I implore anyone who reads this to include me in their petitions to our Lord God. Although I am physically comfortable with far more than I need, I am staggering in attempts to proceed forward bearing the great weights of mental and emotional trials. Thank you in advance; all your prayers are much appreciated.

Small Details

I have gradually realized over the course of several years that I tend to pay more attention to details which are often overlooked by others. I'm not sure if this is good or not....
I observe more than most people I'm around, which is not necessarily a good thing in many situations. Learning so much from using solely my senses is very fascinating, but when in groups of people I quite often learn random information I could have lived very well without knowing. I greatly enjoy spending time out in God's creation, especially in the woods, on a mountain, by a creek/stream, or on the beach. Of course, observing people is interesting to an extent; I have been unofficially studying human behavior for nearly as long as I can remember. Yes, I really like learning, but it can prove rather discouraging and depressing at times. Sometimes, I think strolling through life completely oblivious would be easier and less stressful. Oh well, God has chosen to make me this way for some reason; I just haven't the foggiest idea why, like so many things in my life right now.
Continuing forward in faith, I am not lost. true, I don't know where I am or where I'm going, but my Father and Guide know. I simple must trust and obey with my whole being. Yep, this is one of those"much easier said than done" situations, but that's life.

Busyness of Vacation

Nearly a month since my last entry....
No, I still have no real job and, no, I haven't been gone on any long trips. This summer, especially the last month, has kept me hopping from one thing to the next with only short rest between. Cleaning houses, installing a door, visiting friends and family, catering weddings, helping with VBS, and backpacking have all been on my schedule. In fact, I'm too tired right now to come up with anything worth saying.....oh well.
I would like to thank all of you who've been praying for me! ^_^ I truly appreciate all your prayers, thank you. My only request is that you would continue. God has gotten me to this point, but I am only being the journey of life; many more trials and struggles lie in wait around every turn. I am weak. Through your prayers and encouragement, I cling to the One. Thank you again and may God bless each of you!