Family Reunion

This past Sunday (6/24) was the Scarlett clan (my mother's family) family reunion in Kingston, Tennessee. My mother has four sisters and three brothers, all except two were present. I have 26 cousins on that side of the family: first cousins, first cousins once removed, twice removed, and thrice removed. I enjoy the wide range of people, conversations, and interest represented in this large group. However, I often come away sadden to think of how many have never put their trust in Jesus Christ, my Savior. A lively, talkative bunch, I rarely say very much, yet I long to have the courage, boldness, and right words to share with them the greatest, only lasting joy of my life, the news of a divine Savior who loves me perfectly!! and wants them to open themselves to the love He wants to give them. Why is t so hard to share with people the most important news ever told? Why is it so easy to send hours discussing finite, earthly topics? Why can I not find the courage and boldness in Christ and let Him speak through me to those who need to hear so desperately of His love? I am a follower of the Lamb. I am a child of the King. I am a witness of the Way. Why am I not acting like I should? I have nothing, but God alone to fear. Why do I continuously shrink from carrying out His commands? What will it take for me to finally go and tell those who need to hear the message of my Lord and Savior?
I know I have requested prayer before....and I asked once again: anyone who reading my blog, please, please stop a second and pray to God on my behalf.

Building Decks

Yep, I've got a job....of sorts. I'm very glad to be doing something! I'm very thankful I have a job! The interesting part is I'm working with my dad and brother, Daniel, to build a deck for a couple in my parents' church. I really enjoy working with my hands, especially building things. Not to mention, wood is one of my favorite building materials! I am continually amazed how God is providing for me this summer. I still have no job for the remainder of the summer, but I'm slowing learning not to be concerned; God knows exactly what He is doing and why.
God is so very good!!!

Spending Time with My Brothers

So, since being home, the people I have spent the most time with are my two youngest brothers, Samuel and Philip. Sam took this picture of Phil and I. We were visiting some friends who have a farm, and basically, I was with my little brothers the entire afternoon. I'm not complaining, however I do find the fact rather interesting. Not only do I often get assigned (by Mother) the task of entertaining, but just whenever I have free time I'm hanging with Sam and Phil. A few days, I have gone places with friends, yet the majority of the request to do things for fun are coming from my youngest two brothers. I wonder whether this trend is an indication of my future activity with friends. I go away for awhile, and my friends find they really are just fine without me. Their schedules no longer have space for me. My brothers and my friends both want attention, and I am only asked to spend time with the ones who apparently don't receive enough from other people. I'm very glad that my youngest two brothers at least still seem to need me, but I can't help asking myself what I will be like when they have also moved on. Will any of my current relationships last more than a half dozen years or so? I've asked this question at other times in my life, and so far, the answer has been a resounding "No."
I only need one friend anyway. Jesus Christ is my best friend. He does not need me, but He still loves me and will for eternity. He is enough.
So, why do I ask myself pointless questions about my current relationships? I really don't know.

Was Sprechen Sie?

Ich finde Deutsch gut für mir!
Ich habe eine Frage. Sprechst du Duetsch oder alles nur Englisch? Was sprechst du? Was ist deine lieblingssache über Spreche? Ich kann Griechisch und Deutsch lesen. Klein Deutsch spreche ich. Ich finde Deutsch Musik hören macht Spaß. In meine Friezeit sag ich Deutsch zu mir, weil meine Freunden es ist langweilig finden. Shade!
Ich will Deutsch sprechen sowieso. Tut mir leid, wenn findst du es ist nicht gut.

Here in NC

Well, half way through May and I've been home for one week now. Being back in this part of my life and world is rather odd. Returning to so many things that are the same and random things that have changed. Honestly, I knew coming home would be a challenge, but I was unprepared for truly what a hard time it has been. I feel like I'm having culture shock. I get almost sick at times trying to stay silent amongst such materialism, rudeness, and never ending selfishness; all of these are practiced by nearly everyone and, the worse part, no one even seems to notice or think it's a problem, let alone try to change. I know I am very guilty of being materialistic, rude, and selfish. Although, at college, I felt encouraged to not be empathic and strive to be more Christ like, now back at home I'm quickly slipping back into old disgustingly selfish habits.
I hate how easily sin takes over my life. Please!!! If anyone reads this, please, pray for me!

Chilly Days

This is what I got to experience the last time I was home....

Reflecting

Finishing freshman year, preparing for the summer, and looking forward to the next small step on the path of life are my current preoccupations. I can't hardly believe how quickly this year has flow by. I feel like I'm sitting on the edge of a lake looking at the reflection of the clouds as they blow by over head. I'm sitting still and the water ripples, but it is really the clouds that are moving that make me feel like time is passing me by. So, none of this probably makes any sense at all. Perhaps I ought to just stop rambling and go to bed like a good kid. Sleep is good. If I'm asleep, I don't ramble about nothingness, and in the end, everyone is more happy. ummm........yeah.

Mountains in Swaziland

Isn't Swaziland beautiful? For some odd reason, I've been missing being in Swaziland rather often lately. I'm not sure why. I don't understand.
I wonder if I will ever go back......
These mountains are fabulous, but the best part about Swaziland is the people. I love the Swazi Christians! One day I will see them in heaven, I just can't help wanting to see them in their country again before that day when we are all taken up into the sky. Why am I so selfish? I should be satisfied with what God has granted me. I am so very blessed. Why do I continue to wish for something else? I need to trust Him more wholeheartedly. I need to obey without questions. Why is it so hard?

Free Time?

Fun and relaxation are foreign concepts for any college student who wants to graduate on time from LeTourneau University. Thinking back to last February, when I came for a scholarship competition, I find one of the questions ironic. The first question in the interview was a shock to me. I was completely unprepared for what the gentleman asked me. He asked, “If you had one full day to do anything you wanted, what would you do?” Taken back by the question, I faltered as my mind ran wildly trying to find an answer. Part of my trouble in finding an answer lay in my practical mind. I had long since realized I could never do just whatever I wanted for an entire day. I groped for a reasonable answer. What in the world would I do if I had no limits on what I could do? The final answer I gave was far from satisfactory in my own mind.
Ever-practical, I choose to give an answer that was actually very possible and did not cost hardly anything. I slowly, formed into words an idea I had thought I would like to actually do sometime in the next few months before banishing myself to a country lacking in mountains. A whole day, just my best friend, Heather, and I spending time together in the mountains seemed a fabulous idea for fun and relaxation. Not at all creative, I am fairly certain the four individuals interviewing me thought my reply was dull and below average in excitement content. Looking around, I plainly saw a general consensus of unimpressed people. They all wrote down some little note about my answer, but no one wrote anything much. I felt a great sinking in my stomach. I knew any hope of a good impression and smooth interview had just dropped through the floor. In retrospect, I know my answer told those interviewers exactly what they wanted to know: level of imagination, amount of spontaneous creativity, intensity of selfishness, and ability to react in unexpected circumstances. Basically, I had failed from the start, but the question stuck with me. Honestly, what would I do if I could choose to do absolutely anything I wanted for a whole day?
Although I love going to the mountains, now that I have been to another side of the world and seen how the people there live, I would not want to waste an entire day on just pleasing myself. I discovered how much joy can be found in working hard to help someone else. When anyone asks me what I liked best about Swaziland, my simple, completely honest reply is the people I met, but really what I liked most was serving, encouraging, and learning about the people I met. If I now had one day, to do anything, I would go back to Swaziland: to hug Make Maria, shake hands with Domisani, witness door-to-door with Thomi, sing a hymn with Dumisa, jump rope with the little girls of Bethel, and hold a sleeping child while his mother prepares dinner. I just want the people, especially the Christians, of Swaziland to know I have not forgotten them. If only for one day, I want to bring the joy back into their faces. I want all of Swaziland to know although the country is small, it is still significant and God still desires to have the Swazi people accept Him. What I would do with a day given to me for enjoyment would be to give joy to others.

After a Rest....

So, I thought I would post at least once on this silly blog over Spring Break (last week), but...... Oh well.
It's Tuesday already. They say time flies when you are having fun, but I think time goes by much faster when you are very busy, or so I have observed from being at college. Anyhow, I had a restful week off. I spent a significant chuck of time hanging out with friends and wasting time just because we could. The first Saturday of Break was Liz's birthday and Sarah, Paco, Panic, Fjord, and I took her out to dinner, then to the Longview Symphony. The whole outing was fun and Liz I think really enjoyed herself. Then the second weekend of Break, Fjord had to go home to speak at his home church about raising money for his trip to Cameroon this summer. So, Panic, Sarah, and I went with him to keep him company on the drive and to get off campus for a few days. I love Mr. and Mrs. Hawthorne! They made us fantastic food and let us do just about anything we felt like. On Saturday, Fjord was busy with other things, and Mr. Hawthorne decided the tractor should be driven around. He showed me how to use it and left me to play with the tractor. Yes, I was playing with a full sized 1952 Otis-something tractor and it was fabulous fun! Panic and even Sarah drove it around the yard too. Then the three of us sat outside in the sun, for it was a beautiful day. We saw about nine wild turkeys and all of Mr. Hawthorne's goldfish in their pond. Church on Sunday was also very good. We when to both services because Fjord spoke in both. Even though the sermon was the same both times, I definitely learned something valuable each time. Speaking of church, the Sunday before I had gone to church with Liz. She goes to a Christian and Missionary Alliance Church! I had not been to one since my family moved from Elizabethton. I really enjoyed it. Then Liz, Fjord and I went and had Sunday lunch at Dr. Graff's home. I like LeTourneau! The professors are wonderful and nearly all the students I know are simply splendid. God is so very good to me!!!
Although life can be challenging and seemingly ridiculousness, God is still in control and He knows what He is doing. He will take marvelous care of His children. I'm so very, very, very glad I am God's child!!!